As moms, we are constantly making decisions about everything - but, some decisions feel infinitely bigger than others. You know, like job changes, schooling, and moving… Does your mind spiral with ‘what-ifs’? Or do you begin to feel paralyzed at the thought of having to make the decision?

I see you. I have wrestled with decision making countless times in my life, and for very long seasons. As someone who always wants to make sure I’m doing the “right thing,” deciding what to do about big life choices has often felt impossible. Lots of going back and forth, talking in circles, and fearing I might make the wrong choice.

But, what if decision-making didn’t have to be scary or consuming? What if decision-making was just a natural part of your rhythm of life, and you could make decisions from a place of courage and peace? Over the course of our marriage, Michael and I have made many “big life decisions,” and we've learned a few things along the way. These go-to decision-making strategies from Team Evans Family will relieve stress, cut down the mind drama, and give you confidence and peace in the decisions you make.

Focus On Identity

Raise your hand if you ever feel afraid to make decisions because it might not be the RIGHT one!! Our thoughts spiral out of control with all the “what-ifs” and imagining all the “pros & cons.” Here’s the thing: decisions feel flat out impossible to make when our focus is on an unknown future.

So, in order to simplify the decision making process, we have to focus on what we KNOW - what we are certain of. We go back to our identity in Christ.

Think about this: If I am making decisions from a place of understanding that I am never alone, courageous, secure, and significant [Deut. 31:8, 2 Cor. 3:12, Rom. 8:38-39, John 15:5] — what do my decisions now look like? Doesn’t that eliminate a few options that don’t reflect those Truths? God fills us with wisdom and confidence when we make decisions from a place of knowing who we are in Christ.

Get Advice, But Be Selective

Who do you consult first when you’re making BIG life decisions? Your husband? Trusted friend? Mom? (Google or Pinterest?) We often turn to the people closest to us to troubleshoot and help carry the load of the big decision. I know I do!

Receiving what many people would call “wise counsel” (advice from trusted, godly people) is a very important part of the process. For me, this is God, my husband, parents, best friend, and life coach.

A key thing to remember here is that too many voices speaking into your decision can actually make the decision more complex. One way to cut down on the mind drama is to be selective and lean in to a very small circle of people who’s judgement you trust. Having fewer people’s input will help you cut out the white noise and make decisions with more clarity. Ask yourself: Who are the few people I trust the most to speak godly wisdom into our lives about this decision?

A bonus for being selective about who’s input you’re taking is that it will give you more headspace to zero in on what really matters - both to you, and to God!

Remember Your Family’s Greater Purpose

Michael and I recently made a huge decision that required MASSIVE faith. Just 4 weeks before COVID hit, I'd gone back to work at the same job I’d had before Audrey was born - and I was thrilled to be back. When everything shut down, I continued to do my work virtually, but because I worked in a school, I debated for months what to do when school started (like you probably did too!).

After going through the decision-making process, Michael and I had a deep knowing in our hearts: I needed to quit my job and pursue my dream of doing full-time Life Coaching for Moms. And so that is exactly what I did!! I guess you could say that I am now “living the dream.” 😉

When I think about how we confidently came to the decision that I quit my job in the middle of a pandemic, it was because of this: We know our purpose. We believe fully that our family's purpose in life is to make God known (1 Cor. 10:31). To allow God to use our family as a vehicle to reach his children He loves.

When you are making an important decision for your family, you can ask questions like: What is our family’s purpose/ mission? Which option allows us to make a greater impact for God’s Kingdom? As you view your family’s decision through the lens of God’s greater purposes, the big, scary decision becomes an exciting next chapter in your family’s story.

Consider How Your Family Is Uniquely Wired

How often do we decide to do something just because we think we’re supposed to? Because that’s what we see Susan or Karen’s family doing? Probably more than you or I would like to admit! I’m with ya!

When it comes to making decisions that you feel confident in, you have to consider how your family is uniquely wired. When Michael and I were in the midst of deciding if I should quit my job and pursue full-time Life Coaching, we had to get really honest about the way he, I, and Audrey were each designed, and acknowledge the desires we had in our hearts. For us - we pinpointed that spending time together as a family and working on our dreams were both really important to us. Keeping our family’s values in mind helped guide us to the finish line of making the decision.

I know it often feels responsible to just do things the way everyone else is doing it - but know this: God uniquely wired and gifted you and your family members in specific ways for a very important reason. He wants to use your family to do amazing things! If you don’t stop and acknowledge the way God has designed your family and what He’s put in each of your hearts, you could miss out on some REALLY good things He has in store for you!

A few questions you can ask yourself when making your decision — What are the unique needs each of us have in our family? What strengths has God gifted us with? What are the desires of our hearts?

Take An Inventory Of Your Options

Don’t you hate feeling like you’ve got a decision to make and all of your feelings and the facts are swirling around in your head? Yeah, me too. It begins to get confusing and overwhelming when your feelings feel like the facts, and vice versa.

One of the best ways to cut down the mind drama is to do what I like to call a “brain dump.” This means you are taking everything going on in your head and pouring it out onto paper. This includes all of your options, the facts, your feelings, your husband’s feelings — everything. Write them out so you can see them.

So often the stress, anxiety, and overwhelm comes from having a mess of everything all jumbled in our heads. But, if you take the time to put your options, the facts, and your feelings on paper, you can begin to see with more clarity what is actually going on.

Questions to ask yourself: What is the problem? What facts do I still need? What are my options? What are the positives and negatives for each option? How do I feel about this? What wise counsel have I received? What is our family’s mission/purpose? What are our unique needs, strengths, and gifts?

And because I know it helps to keep it simple and organized - here is a chart to guide you when you're making an important decision!

Choose to Trust God

I have totally been there — obsessively trying to figure out the exact, right solution, that makes complete sense, and has the best possible outcome. You may have a gut feeling what the “right” answer is - but it may feel too risky.

Here’s the truth - we can’t see the future - so we can’t 100% know our decisions are “right.” Ugh, I know! No matter how hard we research or talk about it, we can’t plan everything in our lives to go the way we want them to. So what can we do? Well, my friend. We can seek the Lord and choose to trust Him with our decisions (Prov. 3:5-6)

One of the most helpful things I’ve learned to do to give me courage and peace in my decisions, is look back at the Lord’s faithfulness in our lives. When I really take a moment, I can list countless ways I’ve seen Him show up in my life, my husband’s, and in our friends and family’s lives. God's faithfulness in the past is evidence that I can trust Him with my future.

So I want you to ask yourself - Where have you seen God show up in your life? He’s always been faithful, even in the smallest of ways. And this big decision you are making is no different. It is just another opportunity to step fully into faith. Another opportunity to choose trust the Lord, and add to that beautiful collection of moments God has been faithful.

So, there ya have it! My go-to decision-making strategies to relieve stress, cut out the noise, and give you confidence in your decisions. Now you have the tools and mindsets for making BIG life decisions with a sense of peace and more ease! So, onto deciding! And if you’re looking for extra guidance, I would love to invite you to reach out for a Strategy Session with me. It’s totally free and you get an hour of coaching from me where we will pinpoint your values and next steps for you to step into decisions with confidence and peace!