Episode 5 - Physical Burnout - What You Can Do: Mom Tired Series
CLICK TO LISTEN: EPISODE 5 - THE MOM JOY PODCAST
Hi ladies! Welcome back to the Mom Joy Podcast! And today we are continuing our Mom Tired Series, focusing in on our physical health. Today's episode is actually going to be part 1 of 2 episodes addressing our physical health in regards to exhaustion and burnout. It started as one episode, and the more notes I took, the more I realized how much I have learned over the years that has helped support me in my physical health.
So, today we are talking about some of the basic things around our physical health that we know we should be doing but we're not. We're going to talk about some of the most common mindsets that interfere with us taking care of ourselves, how we can think differently, and I'm also going to give you some tips around each of the basics of health that will help you overcome this feeling of exhaustion or physical burn out.
CLICK TO LISTEN: EPISODE 5 - THE MOM JOY PODCAST
So, because we are covering so much today, and I know many of you listen to this while you're driving or doing dishes - I want to make sure you know that you can find entire transcripts of each episode over on my blog at angelajoyevans.com/blog. So if you're not in the position to write down something that stands out to you - you can easily skim back through main points on the blog.
Now, some of you may already know this - others of you may not - but for several year I was exclusively a health coach. I had my own health transformation where I lost a significant amount of weight and then walked with many women on their own journeys to do the same. So health is something I am still very passionate about and will work with moms on in our coaching sessions if that is an area they want support in.
As a Mom Coach, I see my job as getting you healthy as a whole person - in body, mind and soul. In your physical health, emotional health, spiritual health... in your parenting. Because showing up well for our families is not a matter of getting healthy in just one area of our lives - but all areas.
And I find it's really important to help moms make the step into taking care of themselves physically, because the health of our physical bodies truly does impact our energy levels AND our brains. Obviously, if we are physically exhausted, that's going to seriously impact how we are able to function day today. And physical exhaustion will take a toll on our mood because it our brains are not able to operate at their highest capacity. As we learned last week, our brains determine so much about how we experience life. Our brains determine how we show up in the world, and ultimately the results we get in life.
The Basics - Mindset
Now, I know every mom listening is in a different place in her health journey, but I want to speak to the mom who was in a similar place that I was in not too long ago. I used to think for a good portion of my life that being healthy was about my weight. Losing the weight. Dieting to get the weight off. But over time, I have come to learn that there are so many basics of health that go beyond just what I'm eating. No doubt, the food you eat is 100% going to determine your energy levels and how your body works. But there are some other building blocks of physical health that go along with nutrition - things like exercise, sleep, water, and relaxation. I think these are the things that are easy for us to roll our eyes at and be like, "I know, I know." But - here's the thing. These basics are absolutely foundational for us to create health in our bodies. And our bodies are the vehicle that allows us to show up in the world. So, we've got to take the basics seriously.
Now, the question is - why are we not taking some of these basics seriously? Well - last we we talked a lot about how our thoughts create our results. If we are feeling physically burned out, exhausted, and we're not doing the very basics to take care of our health, it always goes back to our thoughts. NOT our circumstances. We really like to blame our circumstances for why we're not taking care of ourselves. The most common mindsets I hear from moms, and I've had myself, are things like, "I'm just too busy. I don't have time to exercise, sleep more, or relax." "Eating well is just too expensive, I don't have the money to eat super healthy."
Both time and money are circumstances. What's really interesting about circumstances is that they are completely neutral. YOU are actually the one who gets to decide what your circumstances mean to you, by using the power of your mind. By using your thoughts. YOU get to decide what types of thoughts you have about your circumstances.
So, if you are saying you don't have the time to exercise or do self-care, what you're REALLY saying is that you are not enough of a priority to MAKE TIME for yourself to exercise or relax. We all have the same amount of time. We all decide with our thoughts what we do with our time. Time is completely neutral and not holding you back from anything. The real issue is the BELIEF you have about yourself not being WORTH IT to make time to take care of yourself. So we can't blame time. We can only blame your thoughts about time. So, if you're wanting to believe HELPFUL thoughts about time, I'd encourage you to really tap into curiosity and creativity. So this means, thinking thoughts like - "I wonder, how can I MAKE this work in my life?" "What changes could I make to for me to have the time to take care of myself?" "What tools am I missing that could help me?" These kinds of thoughts are thoughts that SERVE you. They are problem solving thoughts, versus thoughts of self-defeat.
The same thing applies to money. Money is just a circumstance. Your thoughts about money are really what matter. And again, approaching money with a mindset that is more geared towards curiosity, creativity, and problem solving is going to serve you. I have seen so many women who tap into this mindset, all the sudden are able to come up with the money to take care of themselves. This may mean finding a part time job or even creating a job for yourself. That's what I did! We had one income for a while, and I stepped into curiosity and willingness to try new things to create something for myself. That power of your thoughts is available to you too.
There are a number of other thought patterns and mindsets that can hinder us stepping into fully taking care of ourselves. And I believe you have the power and authority to overcome those. Sometimes we just have a hard time even figuring out what those limiting or unhelpful beliefs are. Like emotional eating for example. I've worked with a lot of women on having break through with their thought patterns so they can walk in freedom. So - just a reminder, for you mamas who are really struggling to see any progress in your health - that is something we can work on together. I have a lot of experience from being a health coach for many years and my own personal journey of getting well. I'm very familiar with the mindsets needed to make changes in our health - and I know how hard it is, because I have personally been there. So, please, if you are feeling frustrated or stuck in your health, please reach out to me and you can get some coaching support, guidance, and accountability in working towards your goals. You can send me an e-mail at angela@angelajoyevans.com and I'm happy to walk with you through your journey of health and healing.
Nutrition
Okay, so, like I said earlier - nutrition is one of the number one foundational building blocks. And it's absolutely something that we could spend an entire episode on, there's millions of whole podcasts and books about that - so I'm not going to go into great detail with this. But - 100% - having the right nutrition for your body is absolutely foundational for your energy levels. And because the focus of this Mom Tired Series is on exhaustion and burnout, that is the area I really want to hone in on.
So, back when I was full time health coaching, the one problem that was consistently a challenge for moms in particular was eating regular meals throughout the day. A lot of times it comes back to just the pure busy-ness throughout the day of caring for kids and all the other responsibilities we're trying to keep up with. So moms often eat a little something and then don't eat again until later in the day and they are famished. Or, the other common issue I'd see is mindless snacking, again because of the busy-ness or emotional eating. So, in both of these instances, we've got to have a mindset of intentionality around our eating. This means deciding with our thoughts that we're going to invest a little time to come up with a plan for yourself (and yes you have time, like we talked about!) But it doesn't have to be a huge amount of time! This is not overwhelming. This is a little task you choose to do intentionally for yourself one evening. So I'm going to explain to you the science behind it and then give you the little task.
Okay, so, when it comes to our energy levels and avoiding burnout, we have to take a look at how we keep our blood sugar stable. So, if you're not familiar with this, you can keep your blood sugar stable by eating 5-6 smaller "meals" or "healthy snacks" more frequently throughout the day. This means eating something healthy every 2-3 hours. And I know that is a lot for some people, or sounds overwhelming, but we're going to make this easy. The other key besides timing of snack, is making sure that each snack or meal includes both a protein and a fat. What happens is that when we eat exclusively carbohydrates or something with sugar - our blood sugar spikes really quickly in our body and then falls really quickly. So then we're hungry again shortly after just eating and it's just a vicious cycle of up and down energy all day long. And that up and down energy is contributing to us feeling like we're dragging. It's exhausting because our body is just trying to keep up. And in the event that we're eating once and then not eating anything again for many hours, our body is just surviving off fumes. So again, we're exhausted.
So the protein and fat for each small meal is important because that is what is going to help keep you feeling full longer and it's going to keep your body more stable and energized consistently throughout the day.
So the little evening task you can do for yourself, that is completely non-overwhelming, is you hop on Pinterest or Google and search for these 3 things: healthy carbs, healthy protein, healthy fats. There are all sorts of lists of each of these online. So you can take a look at these lists, pick out foods that you like and come up with a little snack list for yourself. Each snack combo should contain those 3 things - a carb, a protein, a fat. An even shorter route is to just Google "diabetic snack combos" - you'll come up with webpages that have ideas that range from yogurt & berries to no-bake energy bites. Once you've come up with a list of anywhere from 5-10 snack combos, just add them to your grocery list. You can take it a step further and sort your snacks into pre-made baggies to just grab-and-go.
Exercise
Alright, exercise is another building block we all know and love. Haha. Now, I'm going to be totally honest with you - exercise has not been high on the priority list for me. Right now as I'm recording this episode I am pregnant, Covid lives in gyms, and there is snow on the ground. And you KNOW I'm not a believer in excuses, but I'm just keeping it real with you all. This isn't one of my strengths - and I know it's a struggle for many moms. So I want to give you a few ideas that have really helped me.
First easy exercise idea is walking. It's one of the greatest gifts you can give your body and this kind of movement is an activity that will energize you. It's something you can incorporate into your family lifestyle because everyone can come along. All you have to do is check your mindset about time or motivation. You CAN make walking regularly happen.
Another thing I am being intentional about right now, and something that I used to work with my health coaching clients on, is the idea of utilizing everyday activities for movement. There are lots of ways we can be more intentional to just create more opportunities for movement in our everyday lives. Things like getting on your hands and knees and cleaning the floor, picking up your kids throughout the day, going up and down stairs, parking way in the back of the parking lot and walking further to get into the store -- these things add up. I'm trying to pay attention and say YES to more tasks around here just to keep my body moving.
Another thing we've done recently is we found an exercise bike on Facebook marketplace. Now, that's not necessarily benefitting me at the moment because I'm pregnant and sitting on a little bike seat feels super uncomfortable right now. But, Michael is using it, which has been great for him since we're not using a gym and it's so cold outside. It basically takes away all excuses. So, that being said - you CAN get creative and find some affordable exercise equipment in your house! There's Facebook Marketplace, there's a store called Play It Again Sports, where you can get used, discounted exercise or sports equipment. They even sell treadmills there.
Another easy-peasy exercise idea is doing videos online. There's a lot on Youtube like Yoga with Adrienne, Zumba. Pop Sugar is a good one that's free. So many videos online so you don't have to even leave your house.
Sleep
So, moving right along with the basics - there is sleep. Fairly obvious, but if we're not getting enough or good sleep, we're going to be burning out. We see this clearly when we are postpartum and not getting normal sleep - we are dragging. We can't think clearly. Our bodies are functioning at a lower capacity.
However, some of us still struggle with sleep beyond the baby stage. Whether that is our kids having sleep issues, we have trouble going or staying asleep, or we're just not being intentional to go to bed at a decent hour. There are lot's of sleep solutions out there - and again it just takes a sense of curiosity. You can find solutions.
And you guys, sleep is so important because it is the mechanism that heals our bodies. So when we are not getting enough sleep, our body is not having enough time to recover from the stress and pressures of the day before, not having time to work out the chemical load of the day, and it's not healing itself. So it's not uncommon to begin to see other health issues and emotional health issues pop up due to lack of sleep. Our immune system functions at a much lower level, and lack of sleep can lead to anxiety, depression.
So a few solutions we've had around our house for sleep issues... First of all, for me, I have found that having a nightly routine helps me relax and go to sleep more easily. We diffuse lavender which is a very calming essential oil, and we keep lights low in the evening. I try to steer clear of my phone, computer, and tv around bedtime to allow my brain to start naturally creating melatonin. We use an app on Michael's phone called Rain Rain that is just some soothing brook or rain noise in the background. I also take Magnesium at night which supports sleep and is a muscle relaxer. Michael takes Melatonin. He reads at night to calm his body down. He does some progressive muscle relaxation which, I'll actually talk to you about here in another minute or so.
Now, Audrey was the source of our sleep issues for a while because she was going through this toddler transition with her sleep and was waking up frequently. Now, it took us many many months to finally find a solution and get her sleep worked out, which I should probably do a whole episode on sometime. But the part I want to point out is that if your kiddos are having sleep issues - stay curious and creative. Tap into that problem solving. Research online, ask questions to moms around you, talk to your pediatrician. There are sleep courses online that you can buy like Taking Cara Babies or Little Z Sleep was the one we used for the toddler stage. Your kiddos do not have to end up in your bed or the floor - there are solutions for training them to sleep in their rooms and through the night. There were even little shifts we made like not giving Audrey any juice during the daytime anymore that allowed her to sleep through the night. Something about the spikes in blood sugar in the middle of the night, I believe. So - if you or your child is having trouble with sleep, talk to your doctor - talk to me if you have behavioral concerns about getting your child to sleep through the night, or if you are having nighttime anxiety - that is another big one I will sometime see with moms. We can work on those things together. Because sleep is your very best friend in overcoming physical burnout.
Relaxation
Okay, so another building block of health is relaxation. Relaxation is what we often think of as "self-care" and the one that we tend to put last on the list. But relaxation is HUGE for us to overcome burnout and have stable energy levels. Allowing our bodies time to rest and decompress does wonders for us. Emotionally we reap benefits - because time to rest allows us the space to think. To pray. It is a huge boost to our mood and overall mental health. And relaxation is also hugely important for our physical health because resting, much like sleep, allows the adrenaline and other chemicals in our bodies to settle - and it allows our muscles to melt. This was a big one for me because I would get headaches from tension and my body would be physically exhausted from holding so much stress from never stopping.
So, yes we want to do all the little self care things that we love. It's different for everyone. That could mean a bubble bath, or reading. It could mean doing a hobby. If you aren't sure what you would even do for relaxation - do a google search and there are lists you can find out there for self-care ideas.
Now, in regards to muscle tension and stress, there's an activity I like to teach, that I mentioned briefly earlier, and it's called progressive muscle relaxation. Again, you can google this or find videos on Youtube to guide you. But essentially, you will lay down on your bed and work on tightening and releasing your muscles - starting from your toes. Tighten them really tight and then release - you'll feel your toes relax. Then your calves. Tighten, then release. Work all the muscles in your legs, abdomen, arms, all the way up to your forehead. You can even do this to help you go to sleep at night. The idea is to be intentionally relaxing the muscles, and you get better with time. Eventually you don't need to tighten the muscles because you'll know what it feels like to just relax them. And doing this sort of practice of relaxation is also going to work as a coping tool for those of you who tend to carry stress in your muscles during the day. Like if your kid is having a meltdown. When you know what it feels like to release tight muscles like your shoulders, you can begin doing that for yourself in the moment when your child is freaking out. It's a great coping skill. And you can do this activity with your kids too. Teach them how to do it!
Water
The final building block of health many people are familiar with is water intake. The recommendation is to drink half your body weight in ounces - which is critical because our bodies are made up of a huge percentage of water. Water helps all of our organs and body systems function at a more optimal level. It's like a lubricant for those systems - and if we are dehydrated, many systems start to get wonky and it creates problems. Anddd it steals our energy. So, my best recommendation for increasing your water intake is to get a cute, see-through cup you're going to love carrying around with you. Take it everywhere and drink it often. Bring it with you to every room you're in. You're going to be best buddies with this cup. Anyone who knows me in person, knows I have water with me at all times. And here's the thing - I would often hear from new clients that they were nervous about starting to drink a lot more water because then they'd be going to the bathroom all the time. And initially, yes. This is true. You're going to be going to the bathroom a lot more in the beginning because what's happened is your body has stored up all this extra water like you're a camel. Your body literally doesn't trust you that you're ever going to drink water again, so it's just storing it up for survival. So what happens when you start regularly drinking water is that your body begins to trust that water is going to continue coming, so it starts to release these water stores in your body, which is essentially bloating. So you're not only going to the bathroom for the water you drank, but the bloating that's leaving your body. The good news is that is not a forever situation and eventually you will be less bloated and won't be in the bathroom quite as much. But still, probably more than before. But the benefits of drinking more water farrrr outweigh the trips to the bathroom. It's really not that big of a deal. It's all in your head and really just a silly excuse. So, water is your new best buddy! Go find a new cup!
Action Steps
Okayyy! Wow, so we covered a lot of territory today. So we learned that the basics we want to make sure we've got in order is that you're drinking enough water, getting good sleep, allowing your body time to relax, exercising regularly throughout the week, and getting the right nutrition. Easy peasy, right? I know it's a lot to think about, and remember you can head to my blog to see all these ideas written out for you. So your action step for this week is to pick ONE area you want to see improve: exercise, nutrition, sleep, water, relaxation. Pick just one and do it for one week, one month. However long you need to just feel good about getting that one under your belt. Now, I will say, if you are extremely burned out, sleep is definitely a #1 priority. Remember your body needs sleep to heal itself and function at all. But if you are already getting good sleep, move on to another one.
You are scaffolding the process for yourself, which means you're adding on another layer once that first layer is established. Start with one baby step this week and stay committed to that little change. Then add another one.