Episode 3 - Feeling Exhausted? 7 Sneaky Energy Stealers Burning You Out - Mom Tired Series
CLICK TO LISTEN - EPISODE 3: THE MOM JOY PODCAST
Helloooo sweet mama friends! Alright, so I'm really excited for what we're going to be talking about the next several weeks. Today's episode is going to kick us off on our Mom Tired series, in honor of me being pregnant and being tired. Haha! But really. Being pregnant has had me thinking about how hard being a mom becomes when you're feeling sick or exhausted. I mean, it's no secret that when you don't FEEL your best, you don't SHOW UP your best. Like when the kids are bugging you or acting up, and you end up completely losing it. And then feel guilty afterwards.
For some of us, these periods of not feeling well emotionally or physically may be just a day or a week, but for many of us, feeling exhausted can drag on foreverrr and with no end in sight. Which is how I felt postpartum, for more than the first year of Audrey's life. I knew that my hormones were wonky, I wasn't getting good sleep, and it was fairly normal to have some feelings of postpartum anxiety and depression. But after she hit her first birthday, I really felt like there had to be something else more that was going on - getting in the way of me feeling like my normal, energized self. Something more than just being postpartum.
CLICK TO LISTEN - EPISODE 3: THE MOM JOY PODCAST
7 Sneaky Energy Stealers
Alright, so. To kick off our Mom Tired series, I just want to give you a bit of a bird's eye view of the top 7 Sneaky Energy Stealers I see that are burning moms out to the point of exhaustion. The 7 that we are going to be talking about are problems I've personally encountered, made changes to, and seen dramatic transformation from in my own life. They are also the same problems I see in most of my coaching clients. So - today is going to be high level so you can know where we're going. And in the episodes to follow we will dive deeper into all of these to learn very tactical steps for HOW to implement changes that will boost your energy and your overall experience of mom life.
Energy Stealer #1: Not Fueling Your Faith
Alright - so if you've been around to know me long enough, or you listened to the last episode, number 2, you know that I am a BIG believer in faith. So this one may not seem so "secret" or sneaky, but we would be missing something hugely foundational to getting your energy back if we didn't talk about it. If you haven't listened to Episode 2, I would encourage you to do so, but as a recap, we talked about how our. Faith is the foundation of all joy. And I believe the same applies to our energy.
Our faith is a source of FUEL for us not only spiritually, but emotionally and physically too. I believe that God is our ultimate source of all that we need, and when we are missing time in relationship with Him, we become depleted very quickly - because when we're not spending time with him, we are operating out of our OWN strength.
And God did not design us to live our lives completely out of our strength. We can't do it. He designed us to need Him to fuel our lives so we can live life abundantly and thrive. And when we become too busy to spend time in relationship with Him, or are avoiding Him for other reasons, we suffer. We don't operate at our best without Him. So, the absolute, most foundational change we can make in regaining our life and energy is to spend time with God who is our ultimate source of life.
Now, if this is an area you feel like is definitely lacking for you, you'll want to make sure to tune into the future episode in this series where we will dive further into some very tactical how-to's for spending time with God as a busy mom. And we'll probably also talk about some mindsets that get in the way of us doing so.
Energy Stealer #2: Your Draining Thought Patterns
Now, speaking of mindsets, Sneaky Energy Stealer #2 is our THOUGHTS. And our thoughts are sneaky energy stealers because often they can kind of run under the surface without us fully recognize what we're actually thinking. And if we've never been taught to stop and take a look at what we're thinking, then our brains just continue to operate on autopilot all day long. Which makes for a lot of automatic thoughts running through our heads, that over time become thought patterns, or just our normal go-to ways of thinking about things.
This is SUPER important because our brains are VERY powerful and the thoughts we think ultimately make up our experience of life. Which sounds very philosophical, but actually - its very scientific. When I say our thoughts make up our experience of life, it's because of what's happening in our bodies. The thoughts we think in our brain create a reaction in our body that determines the emotions we feel. And it's no secret that the feelings we feel often determine how we act. And how we act ultimately becomes our results in life. So, our thoughts really do make up our lives!
When we're having automatic thought patterns that are not beneficial to us, these thoughts can be draining emotionally, which we often feel as burnout or even physical exhaustion.
So in a future episode of this series, we're going to really dive in deep to what kind of thoughts are draining the energy right from us, actionable steps we can take to regain control, and how to think in ways that are truly life-giving.
CLICK TO LISTEN - EPISODE 3: THE MOM JOY PODCAST
Energy Stealer #3: Neglecting Physical Self Care
Okay for #3 of Sneaky Energy Stealers, we're talking physical self-care. Now some of what we'll talk about here is the basics of what I think people traditionally think of when they think of self care -- but I'm not just talking good sleep and bubble baths. We're going to dive a bit deeper here and talk about what's really at the ROOT of your physical exhaustion. This is the journey that I went on this past year, and honestly it was mind blowing some of the things I learned.
However, without a doubt, the basics of physical self care are often the first overlooked. Things like getting good sleep, drinking enough water, exercising more than twice a year, eating well, and relaxing. I think most all of us know that all of those are huge supports to our bodies and our overall lives. And yet, we still neglect these areas. The question is WHY? Why do we neglect the things we know are so good for us? So we're going to talk about the mindsets we need to take better care of ourselves, and LOTS of ideas for how to actually implement the very basics.
But, we don't have to wait to have the basics down pat before we start taking a look at some even deeper reasons why we're so depleted. In the past year, I have had the privilege of getting connected with a functional doctor who took a look at alllll of my health history and was able to pinpoint some very specific changes that I needed to make immediately to really begin to see some healing for my underlying health issues.
Three major changes I made that I think are applicable to anybody feeling run down are identifying food triggers, taking the right supplements, and detoxing your environment. I'm going to share with you what foods were the most triggering for me (hint: the #1 trigger was GLUTEN), why supplementing with the right vitamins can help you feel better, and steps I took to detox my environment. And I'm telling you - these steps I took with my functional doctor were one of the BIG missing keys for me. So I'm excited to tell you all the details.
Energy Stealer #4: Exhausting Parenting Strategies
Alright, moving right along to the next Sneaky Energy Stealer #4, is parenting strategies that don't work. Holy moly, let me tell you. There are some things we do as parents that we don't even realize how we're making it so much harder on ourselves. These are the things I work with my clients on each week. Because of my background with child behavior intervention, I work with moms on pinpointing what parenting tactics are NOT serving them or their families - helping them to identify what is making things worse or harder for them - and then teaching strategies that are more effective.
A lot of what I teach could be referred to as Positive or Respectful Parenting - and one of the reasons I love this model of parenting so much is because it truly FEELS so much better to implement these strategies as a parent.
A lot of moms come to me implementing the same parenting responses that were used on them growing up, and it's not working or feels really stressful. So we're going to talk more about the parenting things that drain you - that you need to stop doing right away- how Positive Parenting can support you in feeling really good as a mom, and some strategies that can help you to ENJOY the process of parenting. Ahh, I'm so excited! I love it.
Energy Stealer #5: Inefficient Home Systems & Chaotic Schedules
Okay, now another big change that I made in the last year that made a noticeable difference in my overall wellbeing and energy as a mom was getting my home systems and schedule under control. I think this was another big one for me, because I was very keenly aware that there were a number of things that I didn't feel like were working for us in our home and our life, but I was having a hard time finding the systems and schedule that was going to work for us. It felt like laundry and dishes were always piling up, and toys felt like they were everywhere no matter how often I felt like I was picking them up.
Our days felt hectic with work-life balance not really being a thing, and I just felt generally overwhelmed. But over the course of the last year, we were able to find some simple systems that have really worked for us and we were able to make some changes to our lifestyle to bring it closer to the type of life we wanted to live. There was a lot of purging, simplifying, reprioritizing, delegating, and completely eliminating when it came to our stuff and our schedule. So - we're going to spend time talking about what are some very specific changes you can begin implementing in your home to bring the sense of chaos to a place of calm.
Energy Stealer #6: Loneliness
Alright, I think we're on number 6 now? Yes - so the 6th sneaky energy stealer is loneliness. I think depending on the season we're in or how we're wired, we can view having community or relationships as extra, or somewhat of a luxury that we'll have when our kids are a little older.
Coming out of high school and college, and then getting married and having kids, our friendships and community change and evolve over time. And for some of us, they become almost a thing of the past.
Especially for the year we're just coming out of with the pandemic, loneliness has been a really sore spot for us this year. And loneliness is very depleting because God wired us for relationship. I know this has been something I've struggled with in the past even before there was a pandemic, but building community and relationships was something that I was able to begin to create myself before the whole world shut down. So I want to give you some of the strategies and ideas I used when it came to finding my people and having life giving relationships that fueled me.
CLICK TO LISTEN - EPISODE 3: THE MOM JOY PODCAST
Energy Stealer #7: Not Investing In Passions or Hobbies
Okay! We made it to number 7 and I think for a lot of us, this can be a super sneaky one. And this secret energy stealer is not having passions or hobbies. Man, we just talked about friendship feeling like a luxury - but I think having a hobby REALLY feels like a luxury. Haha! I mean, who has time for that?
This has been a big one for me because when I came home from work full time when Audrey was born, and was now a stay at home mom, I kind of didn't know what to do with myself, other than keep the house clean and keep the kid alive. I spent a lot of time thinking about ways I could have purpose or what sort of things I wanted to do. I don't know if you can relate, but it felt a little weird coming from a job where I was fairly social and interacted with humans throughout the day and then all the sudden I was a SAHM and it felt kind of empty. I explored a lot of avenues of things I wanted to pursue with this new season of life, but I mostly just didn't feel like I had the time to do anything.
I remember talking with Michael about one of his hobbies of going to play Dungeons and Dragons with his buddies (I know, so nerdy, right?) and I just would think, gosh, isn't that nice that he gets to have a hobby? I remember him telling me, "Yeah - it IS nice!" He was always encouraging me to find something that I enjoyed because he wanted me to have a "thing" too. Can you relate to that?!
What I learned in the last year is that having a hobby or a passion isn't just something "nice" to have, like it's the cherry on top.
But having passions that fill us with purpose and hobbies that bring us life are absolutely essential to keeping us fueled as moms. It's not just a luxury, they are actually a need.
So I'm going to tell you about what I ended up finding worked for me and give you some ideas for finding your passions or hobbies. Motherhood isn't meant to just be survived - so consider this your permission slip to have fun and enjoy life just for being life!
Application/Action Steps
Alright so - we have a lot of exciting things we're going to be diving into together in this new year that I truly believe are going to light a new fire within you, bring back your joy, and infuse you with energy. I want so badly for you to be able to say that you LOVE being a mom and you actually ENJOY the process of parenting. You're not going to feel like that every moment - and that's normal and okay. But, as I've discovered this last year, there are SO MANY ways we can be intentional to fuel ourselves to help us to show up as the graceful and joyful moms we want to be in our homes.
And when we are intentional with these 7 strategies, WE not only benefit, but our families do as well. It's a ripple effect. The Joyful Mama Ripple Effect. Your life and joy ripples out and affects your kids and your husband and other people around you. And it feels so good!
Now, I know that it's a new year, and a lot of the strategies we discussed today that we're going to be talking about in more detail in the weeks to come can feel slightly overwhelming. I know, it's a lot. And that's what I'm here for.
I'm a Mom Coach, which means I can support you in all things ranging from parenting to your overall wellbeing as a mom. I have a lot of experience with child behavior intervention but I've also been a health coach, a spiritual mentor, and life strategist with many women. I love hearing your stories, helping you find new ways to solve problems, and ultimately helping you step into being the mom you've always wanted to be. So please, don't hesitate for a second to reach out to me if you're feeling like you're ready for support, accountability, and answers in this new year. I want to walk with you on this journey.
Right now I'm doing a new thing where I'm offering Power Hour sessions with moms. This is new because I've only ever offered coaching for long-term packages. I've always been told that's what's best for moms. And I do believe long-term coaching is life changing, but I also know that just having someone's ear for an hour is also life changing.
There's a lot we can unpack together in an hour. You bring to me one of the biggest challenges you're facing and I'll help you figure out what's going on and what are some actionable next steps you can take to begin seeing change in your home and your life. Just send an email to angela@angelajoyevans.com and I'll send you the current coaching menu.